That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
