Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
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The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
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It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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