Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
