I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
