I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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