drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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