She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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