Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
