I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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