I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize