Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
