You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
