Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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