The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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