That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Randomize
