Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
