false alarm. still invincible.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
