Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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