dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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