so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
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You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
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There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out