absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off