Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
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No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
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I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this