She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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