remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??