D3 body, D1 cock
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update