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I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
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