Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
