my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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