You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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