I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
