I can tuck mytits in my pants
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
