I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
