OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
