Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
