So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
