This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize