I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
