I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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