So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
