I cockslap morals
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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