I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize