I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Randomize
