Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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