So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
