No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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