Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize