haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Found your dick twin last night
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
