there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
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