Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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