the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
