I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
