Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize