Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
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I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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