Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
