Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Randomize
