i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
