Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
