erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
