I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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