i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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