all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
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WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
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See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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