She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
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