Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
