Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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