So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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