why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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