sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pee around me
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize