1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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