i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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